mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
