I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
