it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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