My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
