there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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