When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Enjoy the penises
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
