i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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