oh god the rape fog is back!
are you so shy because you have an std?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize