I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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