bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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