hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
