Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
