So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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