you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
