Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
When are your genitals available?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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