just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
