no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
