1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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