his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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