Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
