Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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