We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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