Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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