You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
