I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
