Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
