I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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