Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
