This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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