i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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