...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Say something about gay babies.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
