i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
