Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
