Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
