Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
