First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I have feelings that need drinking.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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