Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
