I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
