I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
