Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
