you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
false alarm. still invincible.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
