I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
