these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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