Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Is it because I queefed?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
