i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
