yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
