Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
