shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
