: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So vagazzling was a success
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
