You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
