I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize