you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
