WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
