OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
