3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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