So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
