So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
