Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
