just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Panties = found
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
