yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
