3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
