I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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