Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
